I am wearing black.

I am mourning the death of my 26th year of life, it ended last night at midnight.

Today I am 27 years old. And not very happy about it.

Yesterday as I was walking into the grocery store wearing a field hockey t-shirt from my senior year of high school I realized that there are things that 27 year olds probably shouldn't do. Like still wearing t-shirts from high school! Still wondering what they are going to be when they grow up. Still having dreams of doing something that they have NO chance of ever becoming. Still biting their finger nails. Still keeping their eyes out for more antique, metal, cartoon lunch boxes and smurf/peanuts stuff (27 year olds are probably too smart to have stupid, money wasting collections). Still anxiously awaiting Christmas morning and wanting to wake up at 5:00am to see what Santa brought. Still sometimes wanting nothing but a bowl of cereal for dinner. No I don't think those are things that 27 years old should still be doing. So I don't want to be 27. In fact I think I would like to go back to the simple life of kindergarten. No worries just all coloring and playing on the playground (and NAP TIME!).

A bit melodramatic...yes, but I just hate getting older.

Okay, let's get this day going.

where do the days go

I can't believe it has been since Tuesday that I was on here. The days are going by so fast right now it scares me. When I get in bed at the end of the day I find myself asking questions like; Where did today go?, What did I accomplish?, Did I tell Sam that I love her?, Did I teach her anything today?, Did I tell Chris that I love him?, Did I make sure he knows how proud of him I am?...There are so many things that I want to do, try to do, try to remember to do and need to do in a single day that I know I am missing things. But as a mom and a wife how do you know that you are doing enough? And how do you know that what you are doing is going to make sure your child is raised right; to be smart, healthy, independent, brave and kind? How do you know that what you are doing is going to protect your marriage and make sure that you are still happy and in love at the 50th anniversary? I want to be a good mom and a good wife but with the days going by so fast I know that I am missing things, I just hope that I am not missing the big stuff.

Heavy stuff for 7:30am!!

On a much lighter note...
Sam scooted this week! Now I am not making that mommy leap and saying that my child is mobile I think she was just so determined and didn't stop moving until she got what she wanted.
See she was on her tummy on a blanket in the family room and I was making a little doll that she has "dance" on the other end of the blanket. She kept reaching her arms out to get the doll and I wouldn't give it to her (I know MEAN MOM!). So she just kept rolling around, kicking her legs and stretching until she finally (quite a few minutes passed) reached out and got the doll. And since I know that I didn't move the doll and the doll didn't walk, she must have moved to the doll! I got some of her wiggling on camera...

and no she did not just pull on the blanket enough to get the doll to her!
Real scooting may be just around the corner.

Happy Saturday everyone!

Happy Tuesday!

It was a good day!

Take a look at Sam at dinner tonight. She loves feeding herself.

But do you notice what hand she is holding the spoon with?
She tends to grab everything with her left hand; even when Chris puts something right in front of her right hand she will reach across with her left to hold it in her left hand.

Is it too early to determine if she will be left handed? Do you also notice how long her hair is already? Seriously, it grows so fast!!!

So is everyone loving premiere week this week? So much good tv!! I LOVE IT!
Happy watching.

the difference three months makes

Well, three months is half her life, so I guess that should make a huge difference for me when it comes to growth, strength and development. Today Chris and I were admiring how strong Sam has become specifically in her ability to go crazy in the Jumperoo. So I decided to do a comparison and look at past video of Sam in the Jumperoo compared to what she can do now.
Take a look...

This first video was taken on June 17th (sorry that it is sideways!).



And here is Sam now in her favorite piece of baby gear!



I just can't believe how big she is already.

Once again feeling large

There was a point this summer where I was feeling pretty good. For a month or so I was running three to four times a week, Chris and I were eating really good and no ice cream was being consumed. I was six pounds away from pre-baby weight!
Then life began to conspire against me. My parents came for a visit. Those that have visited us in the last year or so know that when people come over we like to cook, so cook we did! Now this is not to give any one reason to think that I do not want or like visitors because I do but it puts a hold on any kind of diet. We ate great dinners, big breakfasts and even squeezed in ice cream one afternoon. When my parents left Sam and I got sick. Who can go running or think about eating healthy when they don't feel good and are dealing with a fussier baby? Okay, maybe some totally devoted people can, but not me. Then I had a bachelorette party for a friend. Though not more than one day of unhealthy eating and excessive drinking it gave me about three or four days of excuses not to pay attention to my diet or exercise. After that we went to Seattle and I don't think ANYONE can diet while eating out three meals a day every day and being around drinking every night. It was a blast but also not great for my figure. So here I sit feeling huge and unhappy about the turn my body has taken the last month. I look at pictures of myself from Seattle and can hardly recognize my face; it seems so blotted looking to me. But the more I think about how exciting it was before this month began to be so close to that weight that I want I also think about what it took to get there and that my time and energy just may not be in it to do that again right now. Working the two jobs that I have chosen to work keeps me busier than I expected and well, let's be honest, I'm just a pretty lazy person. So this morning I decided it was time to see the damage, to weigh myself and find out just how far I would have to go to get back to feeling good.

I'm still just six pounds from pre-baby weight! I cried. I cried not because I was happy to have not gained a pound, I cried out of anger. I wanted the scale to justify my feeling so incredibly horrible about myself. I cried because I wanted to know that there really was weight that I needed to lose and it wasn't all in my head. I cried and then got mad! I am pissed that I let my self image be so totally wrapped up in what I look like. I am pissed that I care so much about how my clothes fit and what people might be saying and the slightest visible roll. I hate that I care but I do.

I don't know where the diet and exercise are going to go from here. But soon enough there will be snow on the ground and nothing I can do about it anyway. And at that point I get to wear sweaters and put off thinking about my body till spring again anyway!

On a happier note...Sam is 6 months old! I have so many mixed emotions and thoughts about that right that I cannot even put them into words just yet. But I guess knowing that at 6 months she is a happy and healthy baby full of curiousty and joy is all that matters anyway.

There really was a wedding in Seattle...I promise!

So first there are two pictures that I have to post that are proof that dads and grandpas are bad influences on little girls!

Here is Chris with Sam way too close to a beer. Wisconsin friends you may disagree but this is way too young to start tasting beer!

And here is Sam's second cousin Eva with a piece of prime rib way to close to her mouth! She took this right off his plate. Nice one Grandpa Steve!

Okay, now it is time for some pictures of the wedding, I mean it was the reason we went out there! Unfortunately Sam decided it was time to eat as soon as Lori started walking down the isle so I was not able to get any pictures of the ceremony. But here are some cute ones from after the ceremony.

Do you see the bow? Oh yeah, I did her hair!!

This is Sam with her second cousin Eva.

Uncle Craig, Chris and Sam.

This was at the center of the ceremony; between where the bride and groom stood and where we were all seated.
An up-close look at the flowers; isn't that amazing?


The bride rock climbing at the ceremony site after right afterwards. You can't see it but she was wearing chacos!! Don't worry they were white!

The most beautiful flowers. They actually got all of the flowers fresh from Pike's Place Market that morning. Just gorgeous.

So that's it, no more flipping through our photo album! I have to say that traveling with Sam though wonderful and so much fun, was also really stressful at times. I was always worried that her noises, crying, squirming or eating was annoying or intruding on other people's fun. It was also really hard to ask others to work around her schedule. It was a very hard compromise for us trying to do what was best for her but at the same time have fun and spend time with Chris's fun and active family. But overall Sam did great and never really got too overly exhausted or fussy even though she hardly ever got a real nap and her schedule and routine were totally thrown off.

Sight Seeing in Seattle

Too many pictures and fun stuff to share so I thought I would break it up into a couple of posts; sight seeing around Seattle first and then wedding and family photos next.

This is not the greatest picture but it is Sam on her first plane ride amusing herself with the safety instruction card!

Here we are in downtown Seattle; Sam is not cooperating of course, she was too captivated by the view!

This is the Pike Place Market sign; I just fell in love with the sign, the flowers beneath it, and the trucks that would constantly be dropping off produce.

This is Nana pointing out the crabs and lobsters to Sam in the market. She is telling Sam that someday she will get to see those animals live underneath the water when she goes diving with her family. No I am not kidding that is really what she was saying! They are convinced to have her be a diver; those that know my fear of the ocean can imagine that I am not very excited about my daughter becoming shark food!!

We went to the market early in the morning before it got busy.

There were the most amazing colors all throughout the market. I just thought these pepper bouquets were so beautiful.

Sam just hanging out at a meal eating the fin off her whale that Aunt Lori gave her.
This is us on the Space Needle. Sam apparently decided it was time to eat when we got to the top. Post-eating HAPPY SAM at the Space Needle.

The plane we got to watch take off from up on the needle.
Okay, I know this one is fuzzy, but it totally captures the fact that she was so hyper and ready to not be held anymore! I just love this picture.
We also went to the Lock and Dam and Fish ladder. I had never seen a fish ladder before so I was super excited.
Here are the boats being loaded into the Lock.


These are the Coho Salmon working their way up the fish ladder. Such big fish.
My little tree-hugger!

Okay, to end this post I want to show my dad a video. Now it is not the best but I really wanted to capture the salmon jumping because it was like nothing I had ever seen before and knew that if I could catch them on video it would be so cool and I would HAVE to show my dad. Well, the fish did not exactly cooperate with the camera so the video is not the greatest but at least I got something. Dad - I was really wishing you were there with me to see these huge fish jumping!!





*So I am just realizing that I have now done the equivalent of sit you down and make you flip through my photo album of our "Family Trip to Seattle"!! How obnoxiously boring! hahaha
oh well...more to come tomorrow!!

so tired...

so not much energy to write a lot tonight but I wanted to give you a little taste of our week.

One afternoon Chris, Sam and I got some pool time in! Sam experienced the pool for the first time. Here are some pictures and video of her in the pool.




She figured out how to splash!


More splashing!


There will of course be more to come about our week in Seattle. I unfortunately did not get the camera out as much as I should have but we have some to share. Till then... it is time to sleep!

traveling update

Hey family and friends. For those of you that don't know we are in Seattle right now for Chris's sister's wedding that is happening on Saturday. We flew from Appleton, WI to Minneapolis and then to Seattle. Our day today started with an alarm wake-up at 3:30am, out the door by 4:15am, at the airport by 5:30 and on the first plane at 7:00. Sam did awesome on both plane trips; only cried a little and mostly just from exhaustion. Everyone around us loved smiling and talking to her, she was a hit.

One crazy thing that happened was the woman sitting next to me got a whole pot of scalding hot coffee spilled all over her arm and lap from the cart that goes down the center isle. She seemed pretty upset and kind of burned but was being nice to the lady that did it. Not sure how many free tickets she will get but I would have to imagine that she will get a lot for the incident. Just glad we weren't sitting there!

This afternoon we got to see Lori and Carl's new house that they have done a ton of work on already (just moved in this summer), walked around West Seattle a bit and had lunch at a nice pub. We are at the hotel right now laying low in our room because Sam sort of hit a wall tonight and just couldn't be pushed anymore. She got no afternoon nap at all really and with the time difference she just needed to lay down and go to bed. But so far Seattle is really neat with some of the most amazing views. Can't wait to see more and explore more over the next couple of days with the family. Pictures will most certainly be coming but maybe not till after we get back next week.

Hope you all have a great week!

3-in-1

I have been meaning to post for a few days now but, well let's be honest with Sam sick and me not feeling 100% I have pretty much been a lazy piece of poo! So tonight I am going to do three posts...thats right three posts in one! Here goes...

Post #1
Title: The flying sock
Thursday when I got Sam up from her nap she was missing one sock. I shook out the blankets, searched the bed and could not find it. I assumed that somehow it must have gotten stuck in her pant leg (don't ask me how I thought that had happened), so when I changed her diaper I looked, but still no sock. I plopped her down on the ground to look some more (it was a good sock and I was determined to figure out what the heck had happened to it!).

Sam with one sock -

Well, suddenly I saw the sock! Laying on the floor next to the rocking chair. Do you see it down there in the right hand corner? Now I want you to notice how FAR AWAY from her crib that is. How did a five month old throw her sock that far? I didn't even know she could pull off her own socks yet! She's a genius...and really strong!

Post #2
Title: I think I need a 12 step program.

Hello. My name is Abbie and I have a problem with dressing my daughter in clothes that are too small. I confirmed my sister's suspicions that I had this problem today as I was going through Sam's clothes. I opened up and went through two boxes of clothes, the next two sizes up. I found some really cute stuff and on a whim today I decided to try on one of the 12 month sized outfits. Well, guess what? IT FIT!! I mean, not like huge on her but cute, no it actually fit! What does that mean about the 3-6 month clothes that she had been wearing (she had pants on that size this weekend!)? Aunt Jojo has been telling me that I put Sam in clothes that are too tight but until today I don't think I really believed her. I was wrong, she should at least be in 6-9 months clothes right now and probably 6 - 12 months sized clothes. Maybe I just loved her little, cute, summer clothes so much that I wasn't ready for her to move on; I don't know. But the first step to fixing a problem is to admit that you have one...so this is my confession.

Post #3
Title - I should have helped but it was just too cute!

This is an adorable video of Sam working on her rolling over skills. I am probably a bad mom for not helping her in the end, but she really seemed to want to keep trying and wasn't upset so I just let her keep working on it. Too cute.

Sorry, I couldn't decide which video was cuter so you are getting them both!



Hope you enjoyed the three posts. Chris has Sam all day tomorrow and tomorrow night while I am at a bachelorette party in the Wisconsin Dells; bring on the outlet mall and the beer (such a lady-like combination)!!

Such a great visit with Pawpaw and Grandma. There was golf, shopping, hiking, picnics, back-roading, ice cream, great food, good pie, siding on our house repaired (yes my dad did a couple of repair chores for us; I know, I know, I am a horrible daughter for asking him to work on his vacation.), naps (not just by Sam!), and game playing!
Here are some pictures from the weekend.

Sam with Pawpaw and Grandma.

Sam and Chris taking a water break on the hike.

Pawpaw and Sam

Grandma and Sam on the hike. Jodie do you notice that they are REAL smiles!

Apparently the hiking wore Sam out. She napped for the second half of the hike.

Look at our big girl holding the bottle up herself!!

It was so nice to be able to share Sam with my parents for the weekend. She is growing up so fast and during the time between visits with family she changes so much. We love showing off her changes and new "tricks". Pawpaw and Grandma - Thanks so much for making the trip to see us! You are welcome anytime. Love you.

Here are a couple of new videos for you. So loving that my camera is working again.

Enjoy the laughter...



and the slow motion rolling over!

school started today...and my life is RUINED!

*I apologize to the college students that may read this and take offense but today your kind has pissed me off!

Stupid students with their stupid cars, with their stupid annoyed looks and their stupid stares! I hate college students. My life was all figured out, easy really, prior today and now my system and nice life has been thrown all out of whack.

You see...
1) My convenient, one block away, free parking spot has now been taken by stupid students getting to campus for that early morning class. Now I have to drive around looking for an open spot or put money in a meter and pay to park in order to go to work. Sucks.

2) The UWSP campus is quiet during the summer with just a few non-traditional students, faculty and staff lingering around. Those folks that are around would see me walking from my office on campus to the library pushing Sam in the stroller and would smile at her, wave and sometimes even ask me how she was doing. NOW as I walk to the library pushing Sam I get bumped into by students late for class, stared at by students wondering what class I am taking my baby to and surrounded by skinny, too fancy and trendy dressed students making me feel frumpy and old.

3) I use to be able to go to work for job #2 barely putting on real clothes knowing that no one was around in my area of the building and hardly anyone would be at the library to see me. Today I got a rude awakening as my section of the building actually had people in it and the library was packed; the looks I got for my spit up stained jeans and t-shirt and gross pony-tail were priceless!!

4) Taking Sam to the library use to be no big deal. The summer staff knew her, loved it when I brought her in for them to see and would entertain her while I looked up the books that I needed. NOW the smallest peep out of Sam gets rubber-necking annoyed looks from every 20-something sitting at the computers. The staff has changed and stares at me puzzled as I push Sam past them into the reference section. Sam's days at the library may have come to an end.

How had I not anticipated these changes? It had not even crossed my mind that students would be back soon and taking Sam to work for job #2 might become difficult. This sucks!

And right now I am hating college students!!

I will hopefully be back later with happier comments on an awesome weekend with Grandma and Pawpaw, pictures and if Sam cooperates a new fun video.